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I am feeling really trapped at the moment due to my beliefs.  I believe Y'shua is the messiah, and he is calling everyone to Judaism, and yet it seems impossible to live an orthodox life and believe in Y'shua.  It might be easier if I explain a little about my background first.

I was raised catholic in a Polish family that may or may not have converted during the war, its hard to say, there is a lot of missing bits of information.  I was even an alter boy (though nothing bad happened to me) and loved praising Hashem whenever I got a chance.  I read a lot of Torah when I was young, though my family didn't really approve.  My whole crew of friends growing up had some odd connection with Judaism somewhere in their bloodlines (though I never knew until we were all much older), and I always seemed to be super attracted to Jewish girls, which I have dated frequently and had my longest relationships with.  At 14, I'm now 28, I started studying the "Gospels" (Matthew through John) and reading them over and over.  After about 4 years of this I started reading Paul's letters and began feeling like Paul was teaching different things than Y'shua.  I know Peter said Paul is hard to understand, and we should listen to him, but I think he broke from some fundamental teachings of Y'shua.  I don't agree with the saved by faith rather than works, lest man should boast bit.  Y'shua said you will know my disciples by the works they do in my name.  Y'shua's half brother said faith without works is dead.  I actually feel faith itself is a work in a way, because it's hard to believe sometimes in the face of doubters and world gone made with materialism, you have to work to keep it strong.  If Abraham was already deemed worthy, why would Hashem make him take Isaac to the Mt. Moriah.  I think it is in each of his works that Abraham's faith was shown and justified.  From his early idol smashing days (midrash), to leaving his father and homeland, to circumcision, to almost sacrificing Isaac, Abraham showed his faith and desire to serve Hashem, and thus proved himself to be as worthy as man can be of Hashem's blessings and mercy.  And how can any man boast of anything they do, Y'shua lived a perfect life according to Torah law, and being a lamb without blemish, willing gave his life for our sins, thus fulfilling prophecy and granting us salvation.  Who can top that?  There is no room left for man to boast.  That and Paul's Torah bashing are my main concerns, though there are others, but for time's sake I really don't want to get into it all right now.

Also, Y'shua, in his parables seems to be calling everyone who wants to follow Hashem to be a part of Israel.  Specifically the parable of he being the vine and we the branches, where the old branches are broken off and burnt and the new ones are grafted in, which my soul seems to feel was Israel and new people replacing those abandoning Hashem.  Also the parable of the wedding feast, where the people were busy doing other things and would not come, and the host says to gather people from off the street to sit with his people who were already there, so his meal will not go waste.

So therein lies my dilema, I feel called to be a part of Israel, and Y'shua said that the law doesn't lose power with him, but rather gets stronger.  I want to become orthodox and follow all the Torah law the way Y'shua, his 12, and all the original disciples did, but if I admit my beliefs I'm pretty much banned from Judaism.  Like a lit lamp should not be hidden, but rather should be set on high so that it can illuminate all around it, I have always felt that we should be spreading the glorious ways of Hashem and His holy one Y'shua for all the world to rejoice and revel in.  I love Hashem and Y'shua more than anything in this world, and have as long as I can remember.  I don't want riches, I don't want status, I only want Hashem.  But how can I worship in the orthodox community when the very person I feel that called me to that community is someone who would get me banned.

I wrote to you guys because I've been reading a book I was given a while ago by a friend called Y'shua, The Jewish Way to Say Jesus, by Moishe Rosen, who is a member of this organization.  I have learned more about Christianity in a couple years from hanging out with Rabbis (even though they don't realize it) than I have from all my years hanging out with all sorts of Christians.  There is so much that is misunderstood because they don't understand Jewish customs, teachings, and history.  The more I hang out with the Jewish community, the deeper I really grasp what Y'shua was saying.  And the Paul problems complicates this even more, I know, but I was hoping someone here can help me.  My girlfriend is Jewish and is just getting religious.  She is open-minded and hasn't ruled out Y'shua, but like me, she wants to live orthodox.  Please, I would be eternally grateful for any help anyone wants to offer, I feel so trapped between these two worlds, and can't seem to find anyone who can understand my plight.  May Hashem bless each of you and may our prayers be granted in the name of our savior, Y'shua Mashiach.

If I understand your post, you want to be involved with the Orthodox
(non-messianic) Jewish community?
A couple of issues-first Orthodoxy follows Oral Law, which you may
or may not agree with- if not that is going to limit your participation.
Two, there is no reason for you not to go to a non-messianic
Orthodox shul (if that is what you are asking) as long as you let
the people know you are not Jewish, are not converting, and still
maintain your belief in Jesus. If you do not, and they assume you
are Jewish, you can cause halachic issues within the shul and
community which would be unfair to them and do a disservice
to yourself. I would call the rabbi of the shul you are interested
in attending and speak to him. However, there will be issues of
a non-Jew using such things as tallis, teffilin, and you will not
be counted as a minyon or called for an aliyah. These are
halachic issues and not meant to be offensive to you.
At our Orthodox shul we have Noahides who attend and are
welcome. We also have had non-Jewish messianics who
attended but presented themselves as Jews- and who were
made less than welcome once this was found out. So I would
urge you to contact the rabbi of the shul and speak to him....
Perhaps you can find an Orthodox messianic community?

Thank you for the response.  Do orthodox messianic communities exist, and if so, do you know where and what any of them are called?

I was so touched by your post Lion because if you could just truly  understand what our Lord Jesus Christ has called us to,  you definitely wouldn't feel trapped.

Christ did not come to call to Judaism, a men's religion, or even to the Old Covenant.  He came to call us to Himself, to the Way of the Lord.

Please go to this url http://www.ilifetv.com/thinkitthru/tradition.htm and read "THE PLACE OF RABBINIC TRADITION IN MESSIANIC JUDAISM" written by Dr. Michael Brown, a Messianic Jew,  about  rabbinical traditions-- which is what Judaism is all about--versus the New Covenant in Jesus Christ.

There are solid answers in the New Testament to all your questions.  Paul was definitely not teaching a different Gospel than what our Lord taught.  Salvation is indeed through faith and nothing else.  

I'll address what you said about Abraham in another post.

The Lord bless you!

Not being messianic, I am not going to be of much help there-
but having looked at other forums, there seem to be
messianics who of an Orthodox mind...whether there are
actual "Orthodox" messianic congregations and
where they are located could probably
be found out by web searching....