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alright first of all im 16 at my school during a basketball game, and of course im with some of the guys making fun of this fat girl, who later was walking by and one of the kids i was with repeated on of my jokes and she came wobbling over and he kept on going and then ended with he said it not me.
she got up in my face and then hit me on the shoulder and i thought well i deserve that right? then she did it again...and again until it turned into a full out assault
i turned around to walk away and she kept on going hitting me multiple times in the back, i turned around and said calmly that if she touched me again i was going to kill her, she backed down and i went about my evening.
i should mention that she is built like a linebacker and outweighs me by atleast 30 pounds.

i know i shouldnt have been saying any of that to begin with but
my question is, would i have been justified to defend myself?

You had the option to run away and make a joke out of it, and didn't take it.  When things cooled down, at a later time, you could have gone back privately and apologized with some kind of peace offering.  Perhaps getting to know a little more about her, introducing her to your friends, and making a public apology to her in front of them.  

Make sure your friends are in line (beforehand) so as to not make anything bad out of your apologies, and to be polite.  If they push it, just say that you're just trying to keep it from getting worse, and to blow over and concentrate on the good stuff high school is supposed to be about...as other chicks around the school might stick up for her and make getting along more difficult.

Short of her openly having a knife or gun, her coming to take your life or that of another, I would hold off on the idea of hitting back.  In martial arts (at least in Asian Tang Soo Do, and Tae Kwan Do), the best fight is the one that is won with an open handshake...and self-defense is always as a last resort.

For high school, if you have a good Greco-Roman wrestling coach, learn all you can from such a one.  I fell back on these skills in taking down a crazy and out of control martial artist holding a deputy sheriff (wildly swinging his baton) joined by corrections officer at bay for several minutes by simply walking in, using these Greco-Roman skills,  and taking him safely down in a matter of a few seconds, preventing harm to everybody.  Action sustained by Belief and maintained by Confidence.  ABC.

Every situation is different, but isn't it nice to know that situations most often can be resolved without destroying another human being?  Food for thought.  

well if she is fat you can always out run here. You should never say I am going to kill you. she can report that and you can get into big troublem

The real question to me is not "When is it okay to hit a girl?"

The real question to me is why do you need an answer to that question? You should be asking other questions.

Consider this: Yeshua never unrighteously pointed out other people's faults. When He called something a sin in someone's life, He did it with the moral authority of God, because He is God. And He always reached out to the sinners to bring them to Him.

You have acted as an antichrist. By your own admission, you unrighteously made fun of a large girl, pointing out her faults for your gain. You had no moral authority to do this. And you are not at all interested in reaching out to this girl: you are unrepentant, though you know you have committed the sin. What is Christ-like about this? Nothing. There is no comparison between the the boy depicted in your post and Christ.

These are the questions that I would like you to answer:
1) Why are you not asking that girl for forgiveness?
2) Why are you not asking God for forgiveness? That girl is made in His image.
3) Why are you not asking yourself why you are not a Christian? Or if you are, why are you not acting like one? If some girl--who may or may not outweigh you by 30 pounds--can justifiably beat the tar out of you, what is the Holy God going to do with you, who is unrepentant over his sin? Your question assumes your own righteousness, which by the description you gave us, isn't much. When Christ had the tar beat out of Him, it was an unrighteous act by self-righteous people against a perfectly righteous man, because Christ is God and had done nothing wrong. Note also, after His death, He responded not with "Am I justified in destroying these people?" but with "Go forth into all the nations," inviting all peoples, including the ones that beat Him, to repent and join with Him. You have acted unrighteously, not just in the actions you describe, but in even asking the question "when is it okay to hit a girl?" If you are Yeshua's, how will you begin acting like Him?

I would like to know what gives you the right to ask your question, and I would like to know who you say God is.

I think that revelation320 just answered your question.

Question for you section_n9e.....

You make fun of skinny girls or just the heavy girls?

You make fun of jocks or just the ones you call nerds?

You like it when the jocks make fun of you? Probably not but I don't think you have the cajones to take them to task about it but you want to hit a girl?  A guy tried that with my daughter when she was 17...poor guy felt sorry for him after she mopped the floor with him he spoke soprano for a month...reason? I'd trained my daughter in Jeet kune do from an early age just in case a guy was dumb like you to try and hit her . No one felt sorry for him including his parents.
   This girl you think its ok to make fun of...do you know why she is overweight...a lot of girls have wieght problems for a lot of reasons...biological,low self esteem(caused by jerks like you) any number of reasons...
  You my friend owe her an apology in as much public as you made fun of her in  if you do so you'll be consedered a MAN if you don't you'll be a LOSER.
   As it is written...do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Be a man apologise

P.S.
  Don't threaten someones life....if she tells the principle you get expelled...if she tells her dad...you could end up in intensive care or dead...you never know if her dad is a biker,ex-con or just a man who is very protective of his daughter as those of us who have daughters can attest to....I know if someone threatened to kill my daughter I would have a chat with him.