JFJ Forums

Greetings,

My wife is Jewish; I am Protestant.  Our 13-year old son wishes to be confirmed in the Congregational Church.  My wife insists that by confirming his commitment to Christ, he would renounce his Judaism, and that if he ever changed his mind he would have to formally converted to Judaism as any non-Jew would.

I need some counsel and suggested evidence from the SCHOLARS among you.  What I would like to demonstrate to her is that under Jewish law, he would have the flexibility to return to Judaism without a Mitzvah.  I doubt that he would, but as long as he is a minor, my wife will not let him make an irrevocable choice.

On the one hand, it appears that Orthodox and Conservatives accept the Torah that a Jew is always a Jew regardless of whether he is a "bad Jew (accepts Christ)" or a "good Jew (rejects Christ)."  However, there seems to be an emotional backlash against rogue Jews. Even the Israeli Supreme Court has ruled that you can't be a Jew if you are a Christian and have therefore renounced your birthright.  This less flexible view seems even more pronounced among reformed Jews.  Are these two perspectives at odds or am I missing something?

There also seems to be some assymetry between the two religions. It seems that one is Jewish by birth but Christian only by affirmation.  A Christian can maintain his Jewish ethnicity but a Jew cannot acknowledge Christian faith.  Am I missing something?

I need some guidance.  Thanks for any insight you can offer.

- Larry

Dear Greetings,

Well it sounds like two things: 1) Your son wants to be like his father, a congregationalist and 2) he feels more affinity for the Congregationalist church because he hasn't been to synagogue enough. As a convert to Judaism who has a Jewish spouse, having a son who is confirmed in a liberal christian church and possibly formally converting to Judaism later in life if he changes his mind, ISN'T necessarily a BAD thing! If he want to be 100% Jewish (i.e. a religious affliation as well as ethinic one), as an adult he can formally convert with a Rabbi...Plenty of people will say otherwise, but TRUST ME, there are some VERY SPECIAL ISSUES going on with Judaism as a whole, and you don't want your son to be a blind follower of anything... without a formal induction process (i.e. study with a Rabbi).

With that said, if you're son wants to be specifically a J4J, its his choice. He will ALWAYS be ethnically 1/2 JEWISH and nothing will take that away from him. As a matter of fact, an affliation with a messianic synagogue while he is going through his confirmation may help him a great deal with some unresolved issues... I am sure there are things he will need to talk about during his confirmation. You sound like a very supportive father. I am sure you will help your son in making the right choices for himself, now or fifteen years from now...Meet with a Reform or Reconstructionalist Rabbi as well as a Messianic Rabbi before his confirmation as a couple or with your son. I am sure whatever the outcome if will be for the best.

As a father, you may want to read Gospel of John, Romans letter of Paul (specifically chapters 10 & 11), and Titus and I Timothy letter introductions and see what potential conflicts the boy may have with his Judaic past.

One more thing...

Making this confirmation "an irrevocable choice" is way too much pressure for a child/teenager. For example, my husband is Jewish and never had a bar mitzvah. He's 100% ethnically jewish. I had converted to Judaism, had a jewish wedding, had a mikvah and all but I just decided to return to my christian church. My paster did not feel I needed to be rebaptized. Kirk Douglas had his bar mitzvah at 60, so an adult mitzvah is hardly a terrible thing and truly a voluntary choice for reaffirming faith values.

Conversely, if he wants to return to Judaism as an adult, he will probably not need to do anything more. What I suggest earlier is really just a suggestion since there are complex issues here. Pastorial or Rabbinical (traditional or messianic) guidance is what's needed. After all his mother was jewish, right? Many jews, even ones with no christian ancestry will have a hard time proving jewish ancestry to be a citizen in Israel since they don't have the back documentation necessary (that includes my husband!).

My huband tells me there is a "loophole" for jews during Yom Kippur, for jews to be 'forgiven' if forced to convert or practice another religion [i.e. christianity, islam, etc]. So, from the jewish perspective, his choice is not irrevocable since he is 13.

Personnally, I believe your son is old enough to make these kind of choices. He should go ahead with his christian confirmation.

All branches of Judaism view a Jew as one born of a Jewish mother. (Reform and more recently Conservation branches count a person as Jewish if they have a Jewish father).

In Judaism, the view is that one of the worst things a Jewish person can do is proclaim Jesus as the Messiah, so there is a strong negative feeling about those who do so and strong discouragement to anyone considering Jesus who is the Jewish Messiah prophesied. What this means is that if a person is considering Christianity, a lost of pressure is placed on that person to remain in Judaism.

However, the majority opinion Rabbinically in all three branches of Judaism is that a person born Jewish remains Jewish (although a Jew who believes in Jesus is considered apostate by Judaism). Should your child later on, decide to return to Judaism, they would not have to convert to be a Jew and return to Judaism. They would be welcomed back and recognized as a Jew already. The view is they would be a Jew who has turned back to Judaism.


And you are right, a Jew is born Jewish based on linage (and a Gentile is born a Gentile based on linage) while a Christian is a person who believes Jesus is who He said His is, and has chosen personally to receive Jesus as Lord of their life. Christians can be from any race or ethnicity.  No one is born a Christian, our relationship with Jesus is a decision.

Thanks for your thoughts.  I'll noodle that through.  

I am not sure where one could find evidence for your second overall observation - that he has not spent enough time in a synagogue.  

If that is a premise from which you reason, then some of the conclusions may be in doubt.  In fact, he has spent far more time in synagogue than in church.  He is really pushing away from that exposure.

Hi Greetings!

So it sounds like then, your son has had his jewish education and prefers Church. Great! One of the biggest excuses drummed in synagogue is the importance of a jewish education, because as it is assumed, it is the primary reason for a loss of numbers, jewish intermarriage, etc. So I mention it as a possible reason since your wife is so keen on keeping him observantly Jewish...

I am in a similar boat, where I converted because I married a jew but now actually don't want to raise the kids Jewish at all.  I try to stay sensitive to the issue of course (hence my presence here), especially since so many blogging want to be both christian and jewish. I "know better" now but unfortunately am stuck because my husband is jewish and so there it goes...:-(.. I remember my sunday school teacher telling bad things can happen if you don't believe in Jesus, and well how do you say it, I just joined the group of 'royal bas----- who will never inherit the throne'! Please readers don't be offended, I am a just an unhappy kept wife...

Wish you and your son the best of luck.
Zeek.

Greetings, I am not well verse in rituals, but you know what? If you are just wanting something to be approved of men, well you got to compromise with the system. Jewishness is innate it's not to be achieved nor accomplished. Once a Jew your always a Jew. You did not come up with the idea that it's a big deal for your sons to become congregationalist it is Av YHWH who revealed that to you. Having Yashuah Ha Netzaree in your faith would not forfeit your sons to become a Yehudim. What matters most is that AV YHWH acknowledges your situation. If ever your sons change their mind and be converted again to "conservative, reformed or whatever is that" leave it up to them if they will not be accepted. As LORD Yashuah wasnt even accepted by HIS own people. Do not aspire things that gains the praises of men but aspire those things that gains approval from Av YHWH.

And even the ruling of Israelli Supreme Court is even un_BIBLICAL or it's not even Tanakh based.

Sounds like one needs to read first principles found in Hebrews.

Hi Larry,

I believe that there are some basic truths or principles of the Word of God that you need to be aware of first:

1. What is “salvation” in Christ?

Salvation in Christ happens to a person in only one way.  A person, of whatever ethnic background,  becomes a child of God by being born again of His Spirit.  Jesus Christ was very specific about this in John 3:5-6,  and the apostle Paul reiterated this truth in Rom 8:9-11.

The new birth of the Spirit (regeneration)  is effected by Christ (not by church rites like water baptism or confirmation) when a person believes in the Son of God.  Once Jesus Christ has birthed a believer of His Spirit, that person is  permanently, eternally a child of the Kingdom of God.  He’s a new creation.

2.  Can a person be saved any other way than through Christ?

No.  Jesus Christ is the only way to salvation (regeneration and eternal life).   Religions of men (including Judaism) cannot save a person.

 

3.  Once a person is saved in Christ, can he ever renounce that salvation?

No.  “If” your son has been born again of Christ’s Spirit, whether he knows it or not, he has in effect already renounced the world (including Judaism or any other men’s religion), and there’s nothing anyone can do to change that.  Even if your son were to outwardly walk away from Christ later on and join a men‘s religion, “if” Christ Spirit is in him, he would not cease to be a child of God.

The truly “irrevocable choice” is made by Christ when He births a person of His Spirit.  No one can change that, including the person who has been born again.  Ask your son if he has received the witness of the Holy Spirit to his heart that he is a child of God. For this is what God’s Word says: Rom 8:16

16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. (NIV)

As for the “flexibility” you speak of,  the apostle Paul said in 1 Cor 6:12 that "Everything is permissible” for a child of God “ -- but not everything is beneficial."

Judaism is a men’s religion that has nothing to offer of eternal value.  The only thing it has to offer are men’s rules and traditions.  For your son to turn to Judaism, or any other men's religion, would not be "beneficial."

I hope you stand by your son’s wish to be “confirmed” in the church even though the confirmation rite is only symbolic,  but his wish to be confirmed shows a desire in his heart to  follow Christ.

May your whole family find salvation in Christ Larry. He is the only Way.

The Lord bless you.