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I will try again,
I need to focus on what it is I am trying to accomplish and not let:
my Mother saying 'lets go shopping or go "have lunch", and then forgetting to address the issues yet again ...I have to be strong and not let that to happen again.  I have to say with her doctor.  I have not met the lady.  I work in the medical insurance call center now, and I know that from experience that her doctor would not be able to discuss with me any treatment or diagnosis....it is a sad fact.  But the truth is, I have been given the opportunity to go away for the summer, and visit Alaska.  You have to know that I am keeping my place here, in Wichita, and have left my job in good standing, they will consider rehire when I return at the end of September in fact.  And I will tell my Mother that I have deep concerns and desire to see her 'twilight years' be filled with more that gambling and food banks.  We will talk, and we will just have to face the issue that I am not in authority to help.  But will never turn her away!  ever!  Robert, you and Hope7 are so wonderful to pray for me, my Mother and my Uncle.  That is the sum of the days!  That until we are called up and changed, we pray never ceasing!  Thank you so much, and do not worry.  A summer away may be just the thing to allow the LORD His timing and will to be accomplished, here.

bye for now,
kimberly

Please pray for me. I need strength to leave an abusive marriage. My dh has gambled, cheated, verbally abused and nearly physically abused me and our kids. I feel so alone and afraid to go out on my own. Staying with him only means being in eternal credit card debt. He refuses to take responsibility for his actions. i need to leave. Please help me.

You are in my prayers.

Please ask God to keep our Riley dog safe and sound and let someone rescue him. We woke up to an empty back yard this morning and have searched half of our town and the animal shelter but no Riley. He has a colar with our phone number on it and we are asking for prayer to find him today. If we dont there are so many dogs at the shelter who break your heart to see how lonely they are and of need of good homes. We ask for Rileys safe return but if not that we would be able to find another. Thank you. I will keep you updated.

Esther, We will pray for you. My spouse was raised in a abusive home as a child, and now suffers from post tramatic stress syndrome; like a generational curse ;she went from one abusive relationship to another, and the condition she suffers fuels the fire of an additive marriage. I do not know your situation, but here are some sites for some varied info , and are resourses you may find helpful; or get a handle for taking a step[www.parentaid.org; in Arizona] [www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages;Israel][www.parentwise.org;info] 24 hour helpline ph# 1-800-552-7296;www.soanua.org/parent]. A addition to alcohol; gambling, impulsive spending, are signs of an additive personalility, which could be bi-polar, ADHD , multiple personality disorder, OCD; perhaps a medical treatment? I often say there is a difference between sick, and evil! You must know the differrence, sometimes sin is diagnosed a disease, I believe cancer, and chemical brain imbalances are a sickness; alcoholism , finances ,physical injuries.etc., and  [some people are just unreachable when you refuse you have a problem; then the diagnosis is sin!], when you have no choice to get better it is sickness; like cancer!! Keep in touch ; we have many social , and foster care / child aid;medical friends; doctors , that always help us with advise. You can always get a doctor 24-7, to call when you say ; Hey I need to talk about your house repairs![ Just making light of a serious subject] Keep your faith girl; there are a million answers to your problems.but There just isn't one if you don't ask the Lord , and seek for the answer.I will pray as I ask all here to Pray for you and family everyday. Let us know .I pray your husband will be  filled with the Holy Spirit; The children suffer alot, but suffer more if you stay in an unhealthy environment.; Protect your children at all costs!]Shalom, sometimes when you cant do anymore from youtself, you can let go and let G-d! That is very difficult, but it works ! If you believe. Give it to Him , and leave it there!and He shall perform miracles! Love in Christ, Robert; You are not alone!

Maybe a time of seperation would be necessary for a short term solution. I will most definetely pray and light a candle for you today. I would ask your spouse if he would go to counseling with you and then find a good Christian counselor that does not support divorce and then work it out. Find out why he is abusive.....he is obviously in pain of some kind. Once you determine why he is so abusive you will then be able to work on solutions. If he cheated on you and is feeling guilty because of it and is then abusive it can be worked out but only with G*ds help! I mean that! If you cannot forgive him and he is continueing to be abusive then the G*d does say that for infidelity you can divorce but for no other reason. If you fear for you saftey or the childrens safety you must temporarily remove  yourself from that situation. And temporarily could mean for a short time but it could also be for a year or more until the situation either resolves itself by proper means of counseling and intervention or through his asking for a divorce.
For the children you must try to do all you can to save this marriage. ALL YOU CAN! The children deserve a mother and a father and regardless of how much you are unhappy you are required by God to stay in that marriage and from someone who knows full well how devastating a divorce can be on children DONT DO IT.No matter how bad it gets dont put down you spouce in public unless he is physically abusing you or the children. Just my heartful concern. G*d help you today!

Praise the Lord! Dog Found.Received phone call from person who had called the animal shelter after finding our dog and worker there gave information we had left with them this am and they called us. We were out searching for second time when we got phone call. Needless to say we were very happy. Friendships made. Met new neighbor and found out another neighbor also lost her female dog same time and this rescuer happen to have them both our male and their female dog as well. Drove right over. Found my male dog Riley and neighbors dog Precious are now extremely close friends and were actually one physically when we went to pick up dog. Rescuer and I had quite a laugh but could not seperate dogs. I drove to other neighbors and she had been crying ( ps this is neighbor that I have invited to church and they have been going as well) and was also very happy to hear both dogs safe and sound and we agreed that if puppies happen we will find homes for them together. We went and got our dogs and eventually were able to take them in seperate vehicles. So very happy that G*d answered our prayers because we love this dog like a family member.
Good that came out of all of this:
1. Reinforced G*ds ability to hear our prayers and answer us.
2. Met another nice neighbor and friendship happened because of it.
3. Next door neighbor that I have been witnessing to also praising G*d today. Reinforced their faith in God and in mankind and our friendship cemented.
4. Families very happy today to have their dogs back without injuries, well non that are permenant.
5. Family came up with idea while visiting animal shelter and seeing dogs sitting in their own urine that we would start rescueing these dogs. We have incidently saved 7 dogs out of shear coinicidence since living here and feel this is our calling. Pray that we will have a place to keep one dog at a time as we rescue them and find homes for them. Because we have had parvo in our backyard we cannot have another one back there so we need a place to keep them. Please ask G*d to supply this place.

You may say this is insignificant but its not. G*d cares about all the details of our lives, the small ones, the big ones.PS...Neighbor, owner of precious, well maybe not so precious anymore, also has been coming to our church was loved by my church because she is coming out of an abusive relationship and is starting a new life in Jesus. Its not easy but as she no longer accepts the role of victim and as she puts G*d and her family first.....MIRACLES ARE HAPPENING IN HER LIFE TOO. So to other threader....PUT YOUR TRUST IN G*D ALONE AND STOP DONG THE THINGS YOU HAVE BEEN DOING AND DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY AND YOU WILL SEE DIFFERENT RESULTS...Just like my neighbor and every person who has changed their lifestyle to put God first and to do the right thing, not always the easy thing, but the right thing is always good and it has great,no, FANTASTIC RESULTS. G*d be with you.

Dear Esther;

Remember that the need to leave is not the final answer, it may seriously be the only way the LORD can intervene.  I support your need to leave, and I ask you to contact the 211 number in your area for United Way help to get yourself and your children into a safe house situation.  Actively seek spiritual counsel.   DAILY.  Do not go a single day without discussing the possibility of couseling with yourself and your husband....seriously!  SEEK a holy minister of the WORD of G-D, that you trust and would take advise from counsel with that individual on a daily basis, invite your husband only on the direction of said minister, and continue to pray daily for the deliverance of your husband!!!
I will ask for such a path to be cleared for you and your family, I know that decision was not made in a day!  You have not surprised the LORD with this cry for help!  You have been prepared to reach out, and now you must have the strength to continue to the help you need, in your area.  

I know you are a family woman, a mother, and a wife!  So does the LORD, the problems you face are a matter of great lack of experience on your part, and on the part of your husband...the path lacks the LORD, and it is a territory filled with danger and obstacle ...nothing is free money in this life, nothing!!!  Get holy counsel in your area...DAILY...and seek the right time to invite your husband into such holy counsel  DAILY, the LORD is not wanting you to abandon the family unit...only wanting you to be satisfied with His direction and His counsel..His timing and His reward...bringing your family to a safe place of reflection and prayer may be the first step...call 211 and ask about rescue for women and children...then persue the LORD's minister in the everyday decisions from there on...you husband has neglected to be the spiritual head, and is now needing to be invited to return to the table...pray and daily seek guidance for the sake of your family.

bye for now,
kimberly

I have several last things to share with you one is a request for prayer for my granddaughter Emma who is fighting for her life right now. Her father has rejected God and is bitter and I ask you to pray for this family that they might call out to God and receive mercy. The next thing is to pray for my ministry to the Lost and I know most Jews that are saved by grace have rejected Christianity and I also know that most on this site are true believers and I look forward to seeing you in heaven someday. I believe we are seeing the end of the days of the Gentiles...Gentiles meaning those whose hearts are not KOSHER, and that can mean a Jew or Greek or anyone!
For the last time I will share my story of redemption and NEW LIFE in Jesus. I will have to do it in sections though. I hope that my fellow brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ will do what they can to pray for this outreach and maybe God has a place for me in it, but if not, I will continue to share my story in the hopes that even one of them might be saved!

4-28-09 Last night I started reading a book titled, LEGISLATING IMMORALITY by  Mark Horne and George Grant regarding:The Homosexual Movement Comes Out of the Closet,  I do not recommend reading this book to anyone who has been wronged by the homosexual community, because after reading a chapter or two I had to set it down because I was shaking all over with anger and repulsion. The thoughts I had on what Id do to not just one homosexual but the whole lot of them scared me. I have ALWAYS said that violence is not the answer, though from time to time I have entertained the thought and had to give to God, in my heart I am against violence for violence sake no matter who it is, even my enemies, and I can tell you that the thoughts I had last night where similair to the ones Ive had regarding TIM MAY and PAUL BADARACCO and all the ones they represented the day the attacked me and it scared me that for a few moments I could see that we have to do something physcially to stop them.( Please fellow believers help us stop them!)As I have always said VIOLENCE does not take away the pain or change history it only compounds the pain and creates new bad history........DONT RETALIATE............GET SMARTER THAN THAT! There are ways we can win this culture war against the dark powers and principalites of satanic homosexuality and not sink to their level. There is a better way and WE CAN DO IT!

For several minutes after I set the book down floods of thoughts on how to destroy the whole homosexual community overtook me but I have to do what I have done since coming out of this horrid thing they did to me in the 1980's I have to visualize TIM and PAUL and see all those that were behind them as well standing behind them and with my right leg take a step toward JESUS and say, I CHOOSE YOU, and this is what happens when I do that!

Continues part 2 Again, some of you will put your noses in the air and some of you by the power of the Holy Spirit will know that this is the time we must stand up for Jesus and draw men back to God!

The other night I was shaking with shear hatred of all homosexuals last night after reading this book and hearing stories of what they say and do to young boys and how sick they are and how they are a VIRUS that is killing us and we must stop them. Yes, we must! Then I did the visualizaton technique I have used to help me get out of the mind set of sexualization that Tim and Paul put me into in the 1980's by visualizing a man on the left and Jesus on the right and then mentally choosing JESUS over this man. When I do that this is what happens to me, it is the opposite of what happened to me after what I feel where demonic spirits that took over my life after these men attacked me:

I can read! I can understand what Ive read, I can remember it, I can absorb it into me and I can READ! Do you have any idea how wonderful that is again? I could not do that after I was attacked for any length of time and I could not remember what I had just read either.

I care about my family and their lives and I can suddenly see them in a new light. I lost that touch with reality and that sense of selflessness and concern for others after the attack. What a horrible loss that is!

I can sit quietly and contemplate lifes goodness and I can actually anticipate the future and  set goals and can see consequences for my choices BEFORE they happen and prevent them from happening most of the time now. I could not after they attacked me!

Each time I chose JESUS over a man for sexual gratification what happens to me is so wonderful, I have peace. I can think clearer. Im happier. So sometime I intentionally visualize a man and chose Jesus over him and each time I do Im better and more well. I CHOOSE JESUS!

I can see an evil heart a mile away now and not embrace that stench anymore but repel it now. I could not after they attacked me. I new in my inner heart of hearts that evil was before me but I did what I didnt want to do I took it and I showed love to it, not anymore, now I show them Jesus the author and finisher of my faith, I show them REAL LOVE and I no longer take in their lies and their bs. Now I control them!

I dont wake up with tears rolling down my face anymore. I wake up with a smile on my face now. Except this morning after reading the book LEGISLATING IMMORALITY I woke up thinking of all that TIM and PAUL brought into my life which was: